Fake UGG Boots for Fake People
by: the UGGadillo
Armadillos sleep for 17 hours a day, but perpetrators beware: the UGGadillo sleeps with one eye open! My super-glue tongue can swab an insect nest bone dry. That’s right, the UGGadillo can slurp up 40,000 ants in one sitting. So watch out fake UGG dealers. Mess with the UGGadillo and I will lick you like you were the last lollipop on the earth!
But even worse than fake UGG dealers are fake UGG consumers who KNOWINGLY purchase fake UGG products. Shame unto you and your procreants!
The UGGadillo keeps a copy of Let My People Go Surfing by Yvon Chouinard on the back of my loo. It’s a great read that describes the business values of Patagonia, an outdoor company synonymous with quality, just like UGG Australia.
Patagonia believes that all consumers are not created equal. Chouinard started the company as a “dirt bag” climber living out of a sleeping bag, and he believes that dirt bags are some of the best consumers. As a dirt-burrowing little buckaroo myself, the UGGadillo has been saying this forever.
Dirt bags and other conscious consumers spend the extra dollar to make sure that purchases last. They would never buy a fake UGG to save a few bucks. They realize that every purchase is an investment, and because money is always tight, they don’t just throw money into investments that are going to fall apart the way a fake UGG disintegrates after just a few wears.
Because the things they buy last, they have a chance to bond with their prized possessions and begin to love them. Just like when you wear your trusty UGG boots over the trials and joys of years, you cherish them like a faithful basset hound always snuggling at your feet.
Purchasing fake UGG boots is as shallow as a one night stand. You get the empty rewards of quick comfort and easy status (“OH look at those new UGG boots and that fine piece of meat on her arm!”) without investing any of your time or money.
But the alarm clock goes off and your snuggle bunny is gone and there’s a strange itching sensation where no one wants to itch. Oh well, you slip on those once-snuggly fake UGG boots, only to find that the glue used to attach the fake shearling is flaking off, giving you foot dandruff. You sigh. Easy come, easy go.
Lesson learned: Don’t be a fake person. Don’t enter fake relationships and don’t buy fake UGG products.
Live. Love. UGG.
How soon will you update your blog? I’m interested in reading some more information on this issue.